“I can’t wait for a day off…”
Ever find yourself saying this? I know I do, and it seems like it’s going to be blissful. I will finally get to relax, renew, clear my mind and be rested up for the next busy phase of work and obligations. The longer the stretch of open time, the better.
Or, do you dream of a free week or even a month of time with no demands made on you so you can tackle something you have been putting off? I have done that, too. Some tasks are so big and important to me that I have dreamed of the “blank slate” that only this vast expanse of free time will provide. There are even stories to support this, of times when artists “disappeared” for a while, only to emerge transformed, like butterflies.
Movies and books focusing on the archetypical “coming of age” story will usually condense this life-changing transformation into a collage of images over a few minutes, such as Rocky’s workouts or Luke Skywalker’s exile with Yoda. We really love the idea of metamorphosis taking place out of sight, with a triumphant return of the hero.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that not only are these stories untrue for me, but that they are literally opposite of what I need to do to keep growing.
Lethargy… I’m not half the man I used to be
What actually happens when the blessed downtime arrives can vary; sometimes I am so relieved that I go into a kind of mind-numb state where I almost instantly become bored and sleepy and do absolutely nothing of value, watching useless TV or goofing around the house in a noncommittal and aimless way. At other times, I begin to plan all my big projects and improvements. The problem is that they often have been put off so long that I instantly become overwhelmed by the magnitude of the things I want to do and become too paralyzed to even get started. This usually leads to reverting to the laying-around mode, except this time seasoned with a nice serving of guilt.
Disappointingly, these interludes really don’t leave me feeling energized when the time comes to return to work and routine; as the free time wears on, the combination of boredom, lethargy and guilt leaves me feeling more tired than before. I often dread returning to work, not because it is unpleasant, but because my hopes for my time off were so far from the reality, and more time might offer redemption.
Worse yet, getting back to work is like starting a lawn mower for the first time after the winter. It takes a while to build up any momentum, and the regret sits there in the back of my mind about what I “should” have done with my time.
Everybody’s working for the weekend
In the days when our days were full of physical labor, days off were not only renewing, they were life-saving. With survival on the line, a person could literally work themselves to death if rest was not built into the schedule. Days were spent in toil, with sore muscles and calloused hands. There was very little time for quiet contemplation; nor was ther time for people to get into the kind of trouble described above. We were not built for the sedentary life. Certainly farmers and laborers didn’t need to schedule regular workouts to keep themselves from getting fat.
On the other extreme, the “idle rich” of the past created more and more elaborate entertainments to avoid lethargy; yachting, polo and fox hunting come to mind… as well as the strange excesses of royalty.
Of course, an overworked body needs rest and healing. However, it seems, at least in my case, the needs of the mind are opposite to those of the body.
Your mind’s on vacation
In our information society, survival no longer depends on physical endurance, and the need for a true body renewal is rarely necessary. Nonetheless we act as if this kind of rest will work, despite the evidence to the contrary. In fact, it may be that the opposite is true: the less we do with our mind, the less we are able to focus, and the more mentally tired and ineffective we become. Plus, we expect our greatest achievements to take place during these periods of reduced capacity.
The truth is, our minds abhor a vacuum, and the less we do with them, the more anxiety and stupor we experience, at least in my case. Furthermore we get more than enough physical rest just sitting on our butt in our work environment. It appears my idea of “rest” has been backwards for a long time.
Git ‘er done
So how do we get around to doing the things we want to do, and to also feel renewed? Let’s look at a new approach, one that I am using:
1. Unless you have a physically demanding occupation, your off time should actually involve more physical activity than your work time. Exercise, sports, hiking, walking etc. These will actually make you feel more rested than laying around.
2. Putting off those big projects and dreams until you “have the time” will probably ensure they never happen, and lead to frustration and guilt. The more busy you are, the more energy you will have to apply to those goals. Objects in motion stay in motion.
3. When you want to actually renew your mind, find an activity that uses your mind, but that takes you away from the stresses of your work; hobbies, reading and side-projects that give you a sense of achievement and growth.
4. Mind-healing is seldom achieved through boredom, lethargy and guilt. Explore meditation and other structured mental activities to help cleanse yourself.
5. Explore the idea of being right where you are, instead of dreaming of some “magic” time when you will finally get the rest you need or achieve your goals. This kind of fantasy rarely turns out like you expected.
Let me know how you do with this approach.
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